EXCERPT FROM THE FÆTELSENDE ELDER'S JOURNAL
"… and Lo, didst a bunch of Big Folk fall from the clouds one day, with no clothing
and tiny hairless hands -- which all the village elders proclaimed in unison as 'just
"The sudden appearance of the four naked giants, three males and one female, is a
complete mystery. One of them bald, the mark of an Elder among our people, while
another clearly cursed: he bears no nose.
"These sky-plopped nudists didst eventually awake and attempted communication, but
in a language not for my wizened ears to understand. So I set out with the new arrivals
to find our village Hero, whom I suspected would understand their strange tongue… but
not before a tragic fate befell one of the four.
"And so it came to pass that 'Frank', 'Mike', and 'Allison' -- the remaining Big Folk --
met with our Hero, whereupon it didst seem they had crossed paths before, and greeted
each other in what must be an ancient custom of their lands: by trying to pummeleth
the crap out of one another.
"Now, I knowst only what the Hero has explained to me so far: that all of them didst
escape from a wretched kingdom ruled mercilessly by a cruel and heartless despot named
"Dah-monk", or "The Cahr-too Nyst". It seems that they had been prisoners for years,
slaves to every depraved whim and wickedness that this Dah-monk could imagine. It has
been told that the poor giants were even deprived of their precious child-making parts!
"But though I am pleased that our people can offer them sanctuary after such a pitiable
existence, I fear that their arrival may have triggered a chain of unfortunate events.
The Straw Men have been seen roaming beyond the desolate wastes of their dreaded Custard
Dessert, clearly testing the bounds of the Fif Bricg Treaty. The Four-legged Folk grow
agitated in the plains and forests, and portents of a new war weigh heavy on the chill
gales from the North.
"And in the center of the looming maelstrom: a single hare with a message that could
change our world."